"Time, through manipulation, can be limitless; it can also be punitive"
I decided grad school would be a good idea. I wanted an agency internship and student status helps with securing said internship.
I've since come to realize that I also went back to school to buy myself more time.
Time to retreat back into the bubble of college life before real life happens,
To redeem myself from missed opportunities in undergrad,
To be intellectually stimulated and connect with like-minded people.
To understand how hypervisibility challenges my autonomy and sets me a part,
To make real what I keep stored in headspace,
To start a side hustle (DJ, gardener, filmmaker).
To figure out how to balance being in this industry with being a radical thinker,
To reconcile feeling like a walking contradiction by owning this space I find myself in,
To continue my discovery of Self.
Now that I'm halfway through grad school, it's occurred to me that I cannot simply buy time to accomplish what I want to accomplish, be who I want to be. I just have to do and be and put forth energy.
Time is our greatest resource. The more of it I buy to invest in something later, the less I'll have to spend doing things like writing this.
P.S. Sorry to bother you
I wrote this last summer while interning at an agency. I’ve since refused to settle for “walking contradiction” hence the P.S., which doubles as a reference to a dope movie and as my goodbye to the advertising industry.
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